CHOW: Dead Man Eating

There's this great piece by Giles Smith in that Nick-Hornby-edited short-story compilation from a few years ago that's just lovely and charming - as charming as the ponderings of a widow preparing the last meals for condemned prisoners can be:

They can have what they like, within reason, up to a maximum of three courses, with coffee or tea and a piece of confectionery or a biscuit if they want it. No alcohol, for obvious reasons. Obviously, you'll get the jokers, like the one who said he wanted a whole roast pig with an apple in its mouth. Or the governor's head, one of them said he wanted.

She's a sweet old bird - and as the story progresses, you get the feeling that, by her lights, there's nothing better for the trials of the next great adventure than a good hot meal beforehand.

Understand, please, that I don't know if there's heart disease in the afterlife - but I do know that if all state-sponsored forays into the unknown are preceded by meals like convicted murderer Dennis Bagwell's, I can see the next great adventure interrupted by regular trips to a purgatorial cardiologist:

Last Meal: Bagwell requested a beef steak, medium rare with A1 Sauce, three fried chicken breast, three fried chicken thighs, BBQ ribs, a large order of french fries, a large order of onion rings, a pound of fried bacon, a dozen scrambled eggs with onions, fried taters with onions, sliced tomatoes, a salad with ranch dressing, two hamburgers with everything, peach pie or cobbler, ketchup, salt and pepper, milk and coffee, ice tea with real sugar.

Other prisoners have made relatively healthier choices.